Maria’s family – why their letters aren’t listed and the divorce

Posted on

After I sent the unpublished version of the book to Maria’s family I didn’t hear from anyone. Later, a few of them told me that they had reached out and I believe them.

The reason I haven’t published my letters to them is simple. They were kind to me and showed me the care and concern of a real family. Not all of them called me after they got the published book but a few did. That gesture meant the world to me and while I never heard from my sisters, Maria or Todd I was disowned, it was nice to know I wasn’t expendable in everyones eyes.

To honor their request and keep their reaching out to me confidential, I decided not to post all of the letters to Maria’s family. I know this isn’t an easy situation for them and I want them to know I still love them and the rest of the family.

This website was created to answers readers questions of what I did to try and get my immediate family to address this issue. I hope it will also inform others who may have grown up in a similar family dynamic that you are not alone. disowned by their families for telling the truth, to let them know that they are not alone.

After sending Maria’s family and my sisters the published copy of the book, Maria finally filed for divorce. This was 21 months after I originally contacted her and “officially” looped her in on what had happened.

I immediately took the book out of circulation and waited for some type of sign that she, my sisters and the rest of the family were going to get on the right side of this. Unfortunately I learned Maria agreed to have the divorce records sealed, never reported Todd to the Texas State Medical in her capacity as executive director of Todd’s clinic AND ran for public office using her credentials as executive director AFTER I let her know what happened.

With the divorce records sealed, this all but guarantees the issues aren’t addressed and it really is a public health and safety issue at this point. My research has shown that this wasn’t an isolated event but those are not my stories to tell.

I continue to focus on doing what is right and operating in the publics best interests now.

As of publishing this website, I still haven’t heard from my sisters, Maria or Todd.

Sending Pastor Landon rough draft of book – 2-3-16

Posted on

On February 3rd, 2016, I sent one last email to Pastor Landon. While deciding to publish the book felt like my only option, I wanted to make sure he got an advanced copy. The original title was Family Secrets.

[pdf-embedder url=”https://emailslettersandtextstomyfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Pastor-Landon-Family-Secrets-submission-2-3-16.pdf” title=”Pastor Landon Family Secrets submission 2-3-16″]

Landon replied the next day, letting me know that he was continuing to pray for me and my family. I knew he had done everything he could and it was up to me to make this right.

Last text to Maria and surprise response – 10-21-15

Posted on

After Maria and the family had shut down the possibility of even discussing the above with Pastor Landon, I decided to wait an additional six months before publishing the book. I prayed every day that there would be some type of last minute miracle, but in my heart I knew better.

[pdf-embedder url=”https://emailslettersandtextstomyfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Last-text-to-Maria-and-surprise-response.pdf” title=”Last text to Maria and surprise response”]

She never responded after I mentioned the big project. At this point I am pretty sure she knew what I was talking about, but didn’t want to discuss it. After all, I had forwarded chapter one to Madison and Lisa to let them know what I had been dealing with.

I decided to wait another three months.

Emails and letters to Pastor Landon

Posted on

The Below are my emails to our Pastor.

Out of respect for him and his privacy, I have not attached his replies. He is a good man who simply tried to help me in a bad situation. Unfortunately, since when my family told him the didn’t want to seek spiritual counseling and some kind of reconciliation, there wasn’t a lot he could do.

I really had gone to him for a spiritual solution and to offer them one more chance to get on the right side of this one. They were not interested, but I will be eternally grateful to him for his council.

I have post my emails to him to demonstrate how much I benefited from his spiritual council. I do believe he helped me with the spiritual aspect of this and my night terrors lessened as a result of his council. I have paraphrased some of his responses in order for the reader to benefit from his wisdom.

[pdf-embedder url=”https://emailslettersandtextstomyfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Emails-and-Letters-to-Pastor-Landon-.pdf” title=”Emails and Letters to Pastor Landon”]

I made a number of small donations over the years in appreciation of Landon’s spiritual council. I will be forever grateful for him and that I had the church as a place to go to with this problem.

Second email to Lisa and Madison –

Posted on

I got an email from Pastor Landon saying he had talked with the entire family and no one wished to speak with me anymore. I know Pastor Landon did his best but you can only help people if they are willing to participate.

I will always appreciate Pastor Landon’s prayers, kindness and sage advice.

I sent my sisters one last email.

[pdf-embedder url=”https://emailslettersandtextstomyfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Second-email-to-Lisa-and-Madison-4-28-15.pdf” title=”Second email to Lisa and Madison – 4-28-15″]

I never heard back from them.

My greatest fears had been realized and I was being phased out of the family.

First email to Lisa and Madison – 4-21-15

Posted on

While I knew where Maria and my father stood, I wanted to be there for my sisters if I could. I sent them all of the emails to date along with the below.

[pdf-embedder url=”https://emailslettersandtextstomyfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/First-email-to-Lisa-and-Madison-4-21-15.pdf” title=”First email to Lisa and Madison – 4-21-15″]

I heard nothing at all from them. I hadn’t really expected it, to be honest. But I am thorough. I sent one last email.

Seventh email to Maria – 4-19-15

Posted on

After a week with no response, I finally gave up.

Maria wasn’t going to reach out to the family pastor herself. I really wanted to believe that this whole thing hadn’t been planned since “the custody battle.”

Maria didn’t even pretend to care anymore. The job was done in her mind; this was just clean up. What she didn’t know was that I had contacted the Pastor several years ago, seeking both help spiritually and emotionally with this issue.

At this point, I was going to try and bring him in to mediate some type of discussion on the matter. I was desperate to matter to my “family.”

[pdf-embedder url=”https://emailslettersandtextstomyfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Seventh-email-to-Maria-4-19-15.pdf” title=”Seventh email to Maria – 4-19-15″]

Maria called me the following week and told me that she had talked with Landon.

She left me a voicemail and she was pissed. She started by saying that she was aware that I had talked with the Pastor before she had talked with him and had met with him as well.

Instead of being happy that I tried to find someone to help us mediate this problem, she sounded angry.
Then she jumped into how she was always going to take care of HER girls and it wasn’t MY responsibility and she had already told them about the situation.

My main concern was making sure the girls had an accurate picture of what had happened and the steps I had taken to keep them out of this. I was going to wait until after Madison had given birth to my nephew, but Maria had decided to give them her version before I could tell them what really happened. I would have been fine with her telling them if she had actually protected her daughters’ interests in this matter. Unfortunately, she wasn’t. She was just continuing to enable my father’s behavior.

However, with my grandmother no longer alive, Maria didn’t have her favorite club to keep me in line.
In her voicemail she made it very clear she felt this was really about my portion of the inheritance and that anything that happened between my father and myself was our business. She wasn’t going to participate in helping me with this one as she needed to take care of herself and it was really “our” problem.

What Maria didn’t realize was that ever since I got out of the hospital, I knew I was going to have to take care of this one. To be clear, I REALLY didn’t want to be the one to deal with it and when it was a money thing I had walked but I had been very clear in all of my emails what my concerns were and she knew she couldn’t spin this one.

Had Maria or anyone else in the family put a small amount of effort into “trying” to fix this problem, this website wouldn’t exist.

While I knew where Maria and my father stood, I wanted to be there for my sisters if I could. I sent them all of the emails to date along with an email.

Sixth email to Maria – 4-6-15

Posted on

Switching to their default position, Maria figured ignoring me was the way to go. The old “Ignore it and it will go away” tactic was a proven winner for my father.

When Cindy started blowing up my burner phone after Soon-Li didn’t pay her off, I had called my father and asked him what to do. His response made me wonder how long he had been doing this.

“Ignore the her,” he said with a confidence I could only assume had been built by years of practice, “it’s been my experience if you just ignore it long enough, it will go away.”

[pdf-embedder url=”https://emailslettersandtextstomyfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Sixth-email-to-Maria-4-6-17.pdf” title=”Sixth email to Maria – 4-6-17″]

However, unlike Cindy I thought I was “family.” I still believed a lifetime of graduations, holidays, vacations, had to mean something in my mind.

Fifth email to Maria – 4-4-15

Posted on

This time it took close to a month to get Maria on the phone. She was making it clear she didn’t have to talk to me and if I kept pushing this she would simply stop picking up the phone.

I tried to appeal to her Christian values this time and voice my concern that way.

[pdf-embedder url=”https://emailslettersandtextstomyfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Fifth-email-to-Maria-4-4-15.pdf” title=”Fifth email to Maria – 4-4-15″]

Switching to their default position, Maria figured ignoring me was the way to go. The old “Ignore it and it will go away” tactic was a proven winner for my father.

When Cindy from Vegas started blowing up my burner phone after Soon- didn’t pay her off, I called my father.

“Ignore the calls,” Todd said with the confidence of someone who had done it a hundred times, “it’s been my experience if you just ignore it long enough, it will go away.”

Unlike Cindy, they had called me “family” at one point. We are talking decades of family holidays, vacations, graduation, etc.

I kept trying to prove to myself my suspicions were wrong, that they really loved me and I didn’t want to accept the fact that they considered me nothing more than a prostitute, someone to be used, exploited and then discarded.

Fourth email to Maria – 3-14-15

Posted on

Eventually we did get on the phone again and Maria immediately tried to talk over me and bully me only to hang up when I asked if I could turn down the TV. The phone call lasted one minute.

[pdf-embedder url=”https://emailslettersandtextstomyfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Fourth-email-to-Maria-3-14-15.pdf” title=”Fourth email to Maria – 3-14-15″]

It would be another three weeks before I could get her on the phone again.